It's the second day of the last month of the year. Things haven't gone well for me in November, ever since the day I was posted to Sungei Gedong Camp. The vocation is easy, but the people there aren't. Had been living in fears and in intimidation. Of cos', not all people there are that bad, at least the people in my bunk aren't that bad. Doing my own job, and stay out of troubles... It seems easy but when people want to give you trouble, there is nothing you can do about it.

I always thought that maybe, I will treat them as those jokers-cum-pollutants back in my Secondary School days, do what I am supposed to do, and nothing will go wrong. But I am wrong. I am tired of this type of life, but yet I still have 20 months to go. All these things that I went through had caused a tremendous amount of stress in me. I can't tell anyone about it. I can't tell my superiors about it cos' there is no point. Those people there are so used to getting extra duties, so what is the point of that punishment? I can't tell my parents cos' I don't even know they will understand what I am going through or not? Those fears and intimidation. I can't tell my wifey cos' she already have a lot to stress about, during this period of her exam, and her work. As a guy, I shouldn't add anymore to her burdens. No doubt that I had those bunk mates who will look out for me, but how long can they look out for me? They are going to ORD soon, and I will be left alone with those bunch of people. Facing all these problems, I don't even have the courage to hurt myself. Hurt myself so that I won't feel that much amount of stress. I just felt so useless. I am going crazy and going insane soon. I had been living in pain. My inner self is crying out loud for help. I can no longer talk myself out of this stress :(

DarKnight @ 1:53 PM