Had not been blogging for a month now, and in fact I had not been well for the past month. Seriously, I can't wait to get to work. One reason is to get rid of my boredom at home, and another is I had limited amount left in my bank. Really feeling useless and well, just useless. I couldn't tell anyone and I am left to fend for myself.

Last night, over some financial issues, I quarrelled with my mom. Trying to maintain harmony within the family, I kept quiet for very long. But last night, I exploded. People who you think are the closest to you, may not be the closest to you. In some cases, the closest person to you is yourself. No matter how I hate it, I had to admit this fact. During the quarrel, I suffered a mini heart attack and experienced hand numbness. Even so, my mom continued to scold and shout, till I asked her to stop before she actually stopped. As for my gf... I don't even want to mention and I just keep telling that cos she was busy, and I am wrong to even interrupt her over this small matter. The real close friend, the real close family and the real close partner... they are no one but myself. Well, just my luck. Last night's incident made me realize one thing. No matter how well you treat someone, or even how close you think they are to you, they will eventually be the one who wished you dead the most. Talking about perfections, I wouldn't even dare to ask her for help when you said about being perfect, cos I know I am not. What can I say? The reality is cruel, and I really hate living in this world. If last night's mini heart attack is to take me away in my sleep, it will be best for those who feel I am useless and imperfect. Perhaps without me, she can find someone more perfect. Perhaps without me, there would not be any problems in the family. Perhaps without me, everything would be perfect. Even so, I don't want to lose out. As I had been through the toughest moments in my life, the sweetest revenge is to live better than those who think and feel you are worthless. The more worthless they think you are, the sweetness increases when you achieved your revenge.

DarKnight @ 9:44 PM