This is getting a bit too painful to bear. It seems to me that me and my gf are drifting further apart than usual. With so many differences, she made it even more by making even more differences. At some point, I did think of breaking up but I just could not do it. Maybe my heart just refused to accept the facts but my brain had long accepted it. My brain told me that there is someone out there better than her, but my heart said "No!". Even when posting this, my brain and heart still at constant conflicts. My heart is afraid to say certain things which my brain knew it is true for a very long time.

Each time I recalled those hurtful things she said to me, I couldn't help but bits and pieces of my heart fell apart. I picked it up, put it back, and pretend nothing had happened. Guys, by nature, are not jerks. They had been hurt over and over again, till the extent that he felt they need to defend their hearts. Certain situations made us who we are. To be honest, I am already begin to feel numb. Or should I say, I want to numb myself whenever my heart misses her. My friends, family and even other guys, laughed at me when I said she is my only one and that she is my queen. Am I lying to myself, after all that I had done for her? Sometimes I felt so but I will just dismissed it seconds later. When my friends and family asked me if I ever meet her family before, well... I can't lie. And when they asked how long we had been together? Trust me! I don't even want to answer them cos I know the answer will shock them. My friends told me that, given the fact one party is my family and the other party is my gf, they should understand my situation, but too bad, both parties only think of themselves. Sad but true :(

After being together for so long, she always chose to listen to her friends and not me. My aunt always told me that if no one understands you, then you got to be strong. But for how long can someone be strong for? Well, who knows?

DarKnight @ 11:20 PM